Like She Owns the Place by Cara Alwill Leyba

Author:Cara Alwill Leyba
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2018-07-09T16:00:00+00:00

SELF-LOVE IS A VERB

The idea of loving myself eluded me for most of my life. Self-love? What was that? You might as well have been speaking German to me. Fortunately, I never exactly hated myself, but the concept of self-love just wasn’t on my radar. When I finally learned that confidence was impossible without self-love, my world was rattled in the best way possible.

I make a lot of fitness references when it comes to confidence, and it’s because that’s been the hardest thing for me to stick with. It’s been the thing that doesn’t come naturally to me, the thing that forces me to be patient with myself while continually pushing myself. It was a fitness class that helped me realize self-love is more than some pie-in-the-sky idea—it’s a verb. A very intentional action. For me, self-love is not just speaking kindly to myself—it’s making promises to myself and keeping them. Whether that’s showing up to a workout class even when I’m not in the mood or writing that blog post even when I’m exhausted. Self-love is proving to myself I’m worthy of the things I really want to do, even when shit gets hard. Self-love is choosing myself, again and again, every day. Even when I don’t like myself. Especially when I don’t like myself.

Writing this book has been a massive act of self-love. This is the first time I’m working with a publisher, and as I mentioned in previous chapters, the heat is on. It’s the first time I’ve had an entire company backing me up. The first time I’ve been pushed creatively. The first time someone else is holding me accountable to deadlines. It’s taken an enormous amount of self-love to wipe away my tears of frustration (and there have been a few), to be disciplined with my time, and to fight the nagging feelings that I’m not enough. The act of writing and completing this book is an act of self-love. The act of doing my personal best and putting my anxiety to bed has been an act of self-love. The act of sometimes looking myself square in the face and saying, Bitch, you’ve got this, is an act of self-love.

If you’re struggling with learning to love yourself, think about where you can take action in your life. Where can you start showing up for yourself? Where can you get really intentional? Where can you choose love over standing still?

Here’s a simple yet powerful tool I use to remind myself that I am worthy of loving myself. I close my eyes and take six deep breaths. With each inhale, I imagine the words “I am enough” in glowing pink letters. Your letters may look different, but allow the phrase to remain the same. When I exhale, I imagine myself releasing any thoughts that do not serve me. After completing my breathing exercise, I let my breath return to normal, but I keep my eyes closed, and focus on visualizing the mantra. I am enough. Try this for ten minutes anytime you’re feeling insecure, and see if it changes things for you.

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